I am sitting here on the verge of tears. I am not sad, I am mad. I am so irritated at how my morning has gone from great to terrible in a matter of hours. I am mostly venting and all writing rules say I shouldn’t share this with the world.
But you know what?....I am because I am certain you probably had one of these mornings not too long ago too?? You know the kind that nothing goes right. When it seems every single thing you touch turns to trouble instead of gold! The one that makes you want to throw a two yr old tantrum in the floor.
I was so pumped to be at home today to work on the website. Trying to learn the technical stuff eats up a lot of my time and I was excited to have a full day to just focus on writing new posts for you. I began the morning early as usual and had a wonderful and worshipful quiet time. I had inspiration to write and time to get it done. I was hoping to get some done ahead. High hopes as usual.
Breakfast and into my office by 8am. Heater and worship music going. Within an hour or so, I have a post almost done. As I am typing the last paragraph, my laptop shuts off without any notice!! WHAT?! I freaked and began praying that my site auto saves as often as Microsoft Word. Finally, I have site back up and NOPE, not even half of the post was saved! NOOOOOO!
I was so aggravated and learned a lesson on saving multiple times throughout typing a post! I re-typed the entire post and wanted to make an image that would relate. I tried opening a new tab to make the image and not working. I reboot & still not working. I am beginning to move from aggravated to upset at this point. I decide to move my new modem closer to my office to see if this helps. Not only does it NOT help, it drops internet connection all together! I then move the modem back to normal place thinking all would reconnect. WRONG again. I restart the modem and I restart laptop ….nothing. UGH
I then give up and call my internet provider for the 3rd time in a week to try to find out what the issue is. And we all know how fun calling automated customer service can be. Thankfully, a sweet lady helped me get reconnected and hopefully get the upgraded speed I was promised and never had. Hoping that works out.
I am then finally back up and running. I go back to the 2nd written post and excited to see it still there and intact. I work the graphic up to insert into the post as a visual of the post. As easy as it always is, the image would not drop into the post as I was trying to do. After a few times of refiguring, I decided to just go without it and deleted the image.
WHEN I DID, I LOST IT!! I lost my mind as I saw my entire twice-written blog post disappear! I couldn’t do that again if I tried!! That should be impossible, but it happened. Tears and anger were welling up fast.
I could not believe that my writing day had turned into lunch time with NOTHING to show. Nothing. I wanted to just cry and go crawl back in my bed and start over again tomorrow.
Your day probably didn’t look just like mine, but you know THAT KIND of day. It could be slow toddlers, colicky baby, sassy teens, a mean co-worker, or boss that ruins the first part of your day. It could be the flat tire, the truck that won’t crank making you late for work on your busiest day. I know you could give me pages of examples.
All this venting to tell you that we ALL have days where it would be easier to be a kid and just throw a fit and then take a nap and wake up feeling all better. I wish it was all that easy!!
BUT GOD…yep, always a But God!! As I was ranting and having my little pity party, I was reminded of the first paragraph of the blog post that was twice deleted. That’s when I began to feel like a whiny brat! God was reminding me of the bigger picture. The picture I had JUST written TWICE!!
My deleted post began with listing people I know personally that are going thru some of life’s major storms. They ranged from a beautiful 2yr old battling brain tumor, great friends watching the dreaded C work attack their family members, life altering health diagnosis, loss of children-stillborn and grown, addictions ravaging families, job loss, and infertility. Those are just off the cuff in MY LITTLE world!
Ouch…and to think I was in tears due to inconvenience! Lord please forgive me!
Lord, please forgive me for getting so worked over just inconveniences! These are simple issues others are wishing were their only problems! Lord, thank you for showing me my selfish heart and reminding me there is a bigger picture here. When I was made to step back and take a breath, I realize I am so very blessed. Thank you for reminding me to reset my attitude and focus on the wonderful things and let go of the rough morning. Father, I ask you to continue to prick my heart when it begins to go nuts over things that are not truly important in the big picture. I love you Lord, even when you step on my toes. Amen