As I look back, last year was a year of ‘in-between’. 2019 looks to be a year of ‘leaving the in-between’ for me. I have been trying to process a huge transition this year. I have been stuck in confusion of what I ‘should’ do, what I 'know' to do, ‘want’ to do and wondering why He is saying ‘wait’ in other areas.
Following the Lord's leading is not always a straight & direct path to the purpose He has! It frustrates the 'be productive, work hard' nature that I have, but His Way is what I surrendered to. It can look funny, lazy or unnecessary but God has taught me that NOTHING is wasted! David didn't immediately become king as a young teen when He was called. Joseph had the vision as a young teen, but it was many years & heartaches later before it came to pass. Abraham was promised a child when God told him to leave his homeland, but it was 25 years before Isaac was born!
HIS ways and timing are NOT like ours, they are so far beyond ours!
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8&9
I have been so certain of some things He has given me to do and yet held back in fear. I am very unqualified from the world’s standards on these things, but He tells me over & over “GO & TELL THEM WHAT I TOLD YOU”.
I am trying, I really am! My heart’s desire is to be right in the middle of His will, whatever that is.
BUT GOD! God has been doing a big shift, stirring and brewing in my heart. I now know what it is and He is saying, ‘the time is now. GO & TELL THEM WHAT I TOLD YOU.” So I am.
Just to show you how amazing He is, I was praying this morning for Him to continue to guide me & lead me in His path. I spend yesterday writing down what I feel certain He is asking me to move into this year. After my devotions, I kept hearing ‘Jeremiah’, so I began reading in Chapter 1 and came to THIS!
WOW!! Confirmation yet again for me to GO!!
Most of the past three years have been. When the Lord instructed me in Nov 2015 to leave my job and go full-time with Him, I had no idea why He would ask me to do such a hard thing.
Thirteen months later, when I finally surrendered to this instruction, my life was forever changed! At first my days were spent trying to build a ministry and an income. Good things came from that, but the more time I spent in alone time with Him, seeking His leading, I realized I wasn’t going to be the one to build this ministry.
Another surrendering. All the while others are asking, “So what do you do? What is your ministry exactly?” It was so intimidating to not have a direct Mission statement or Purpose statement that I could proudly announce and ask them to come along. This was such a hard thing for a natural perfectionist planner!
All the while, I knew I was doing exactly what the Lord was leading me to do, even when it looked as if I was doing nothing. There was a season I was flat on my back or stomach with nerve issue in my back and could do nothing productive, but HE sent speaking invitations during this time! There was probably a year or more that He gave me the words “build relationships, network & study”. So that is what I made my mission as people continued to ask, “so what exactly do you do?”. How do you explain God’s ways when they don’t make sense to yourself?? LOL
I remember this time last year after an awful battle of health last fall. He had planted a big vision in my head in July 2017 and during my health decline later that year, He was working in me. As I look back, it may have all been to stop me long enough to hear him??
I started out 2018 ready to go forward with some of these big things He had planted in me, but as I prayed over them, I heard these words so clearly that I stopped completely…
”It’s Not Time. REST. RESTORE & BUILD ENDURANCE”
Really Lord? I knew I needed to rest & restore my body after such a battle with health, but I wanted healing of my body so I could go head first into the things He had shown me….BUT that was MY timing and plan, not His.
I had no idea what all Rest, Restore & Build Endurance was going to entail, but I went about my days as usual asking for guidance every morning for what this special day was to be. Some days were spent ministering to one who needed me. Some days were spent in bible study all day. Some were studying up on theology or communication or writing or just crying in the floor praying. Some days were spent on the couch for hours sleeping trying to rebuild my body.
Although, throughout this time, God was doing some amazing healings in my heart and in my MIND! I see now why it was not time last year for some things! It has taken years for God to prepare me for what He is asking me to do.
If you had asked me just five years ago if I would ever do some of the things the Lord has asked, it would have been a quick and loud, “NO WAY!” lol But He has an amazing way of bringing our desires in line with His!
All of that to get to this point. (I know!!! FINALLY huh?!)
I am never sure what words to use as to not ruffle denominational feathers, but I personally feel the words are
“Preach & Evangelize the American Church”
You can call it speak or teach if that makes it more comfortable for you, because I will be teaching the parts of the bible that the church in general doesn’t want to hear about any more.
He has been building me (and my deepest insecurities) up over the past eighteen months to bring me to the point of actually being able to say this out of my mouth!
This is by far the scariest undertaking to date! One…PUBLIC SPEAKING?!!!! All eyes on me?! Nausea. Then Two….EVANGELISM?? I never saw this one coming! Never! I have always wanted to disciple and mentor after they knew Jesus, but never felt called to be the one to be bold and bring them to Jesus!! I wasn’t bold, confident or courageous enough to do that!
BUT GOD!!!! Won’t He Do It?! He loves showing up and doing the IMPOSSIBLE or the LEAST LIKELY thing.
I will tell you that I was paralyzed with fear (AGAIN! When will I ever get over this!!??) when this began to stir in my soul! I sincerely want to glorify Jesus in any way He wants, but the enemy begins to scream lies in my mind when I say that! But remember when I told you that the Lord had been healing my MIND??....this is why! So I could recognize and begin to defeat him as I move forward with God’s plans!
GOD BLOWS MY MIND ALL THE TIME!!!
My fear has finally turned into excitement for what is coming! For me to say that I am excited for the UNKNOWN???? Miracle in itself right there!
I have no idea what this will look like or where & when it will begin, BUT it will be in HIS timing and it will be awesome because He is the one doing what I cannot….transforming lives! I just get to be part of the party!
I AM EXCITED! God has brought others around me that I never would have crossed paths with who have heard that God is ready to bring an awakening to our area! I am ready to see what God has in store for us.
I will say now that I am praying hard about this blog and writing at this time. I am feeling very confident as I move forward in a few other areas, but this part I have not received clear direction on?? In saying that, I will probably be emailing once per MONTH and include things from my Youtube channel as well as different FB posts and other interesting finds I come across during the month. There may be more, but for right this moment, I want to try to be consistent but focus on the things I know He has directed me to for this season.
New Year. New Focus. New Things.
#1- Preach/Teach/Speak/Evangelize wherever He leads and opens doors! If you have event, ladies gathering, church opening I ask you to pray for me.
-YOU TUBE channel for challenging focus on what God calls us to do as Christ followers (subscribe & it sends you alert to new videos when I make them.)
-Facebook for impromptu thoughts, quotes, and scriptures that come to mind
#2- Seminars/Retreats for Young Women
-3 hr SMALL GROUP SEMINARS geared to young women 19 & up. I am SO EXCITED! These will be for gals who are serious about a living a life for Jesus & looking for biblical wisdom to do it! MENTORSHIP+ SCRIPTURE TEACHINGS+ LIFE COACHING MIX and will be life guidance for singles looking forward to marriage & family, married w/without kids, or others who feel the call to mentor and help guide young women today!
- LIMITED Seats to keep it small group atmosphere.
-ROCK SOLID PARENTING- Building a Strong Foundation (Coming in Feb)
-BUDGET by THE BOOK- Today’s Best Financial Principles Come From the Bible
-MAKING A MARRIAGE WORK- What’s Love Got to Do With It?
-SUPERWOMAN is a BIG, FAT LIE!- Knowing Who God Created Us to Be
#3- Writing – COMING SOON- ‘THE SATISFIED SOUL’
- An Online, In-Depth, Bible Based, Self Development Course!
If I can ever get it to the finalized state, it is going to be awesome. He has given me such revelation myself as I wrote this!
-Emails & Blog will be once per month with links to different videos/posts and cool things I’ve found throughout the month.
I am praying as we all move into a New Year of New Opportunities!
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