UPDATED 2020:
I wrote this five years ago on an old blog site & on this date every year, I still stand amazed at what God did! Supernatural miracles! Intervention at the exact moment I was about to mess up everything He had planned. BUT GOD!! I cannot imagine my life today if God had not overtaken MY plans that day. I am so grateful for a God who knows me better than I know myself and protects me from my own self. LOL ORIGINAL POST: Sunday, Dec 27, 1997 will always be an unforgettable day in my life. It is one of those days that will always be etched on my heart as one of life's biggest miracles. This post is jumping ahead in the 'My Story" series, but with the date falling on the same day this year , memories are flooding my mind. Actually, every single Sunday after Christmas is a special one for me. Mainly because my husband is usually sitting right beside me in church....now. Christmas week had been the worst. I had 2 little ones, 6 & 1. Christmas to me is an extra special time of family, laughs and love, but this Christmas didn't fit that picture at all. Our little family was struggling because our marriage was a mess. It was rough. Very emotional and too hard to hide this time. It was all out in the open when he decided not to attend my immediate family Christmas. I still Thank God for a praying family who knew to plead for my family that night after I left! I was trying to act 'happy' and excited for my babies, but at the same time was heartbroken and worried about what our future held. This was not a just a fight that would blow over. This was a turning point in this marriage, and my little family. We had already been through so much in our marriage and these should have been the great years. (much more about that in the 'My Story' later) But I now had 2 little ones that depended on me to shelter, love, protect and teach them what life was all about. And at this point, I felt I had no idea myself on how to do life! THIS IS A TRUE STORY....a TESTIMONY, one that would be hard for me to believe if I had not lived it myself. I still remember this day so clearly. I pray I always will. It was Sunday morning (after a very tense & quiet Christmas). I went about our Sunday schedule as usual...getting the kids up, fed and ready for church. He went about his usual...up, around the house, but with no intention of going to church with us. This was our normal now. He did not attend church with us but did not hold me back in any way. He usually would do whatever I asked to help me get the kids ready, just didn't care to go with us now. This was never in my plan...ever. I never planned to be taking my children to church without daddy walking in with us, but this is where my life had been for several years now. As I usually did every Sunday morning, I asked him if he would join us. He answered as he usually did and declined. It always broke my heart even though I always knew what his answer would be. I loaded the kids into the car and down the driveway I went. I had barely made it down the road 1/4 mile before I was in tears. I knew TODAY would be the day that my marriage would change...one way or another, for better or for the end. I NEVER wanted to not be married to him, but I was so emotionally wrecked by this time that I could not hide or cover up this 'mess' any longer. Something had to change or I was going to lose my mind. I began turning my car around. I was telling myself "there is NO reason for me to go to church like this! I will not be able to think or hear anything! No reason to put off what has to be dealt with..TODAY." I had turned my car around by this point and I actually heard/felt this "YOU GO TO CHURCH!" It was so strong, that I did not even question it and immediately turned around before I even realized it!! I have never experienced anything like this since! During the 25 min drive, I whined, fussed and cried to God (mostly in my head so I didn't upset the kids). I didn't want to lose my marriage and family but I didn't want to lose my mind either. I TOLD God (just being real here..)what I was going to do when I got home from church....."Next year will be different, one way or another! He can either agree to attend church with us as a family 2x per month and counseling and if we are not worth doing that for, then he really must not love us". I had it planned out. I would come home and we would decide TODAY what our future held. This was not a rash decision....I do not react that way....remember I am the OVER ANALYZER! So I get into Sunday School and could not tell you anything about that hour except that the teacher asked me to dismiss our class in prayer! They probably wondered what I was talking about as I asked God to 'help us today as we do things we must do". But God knew. I was still sick to my stomach about what was about to happen later. Pure nausea. Just as church was beginning, my husband slid into the pew beside me. I'm sure you are thinking "how awesome, that is great, I bet she was so happy". Well, I wasn't. I know that sounds horrible to say, but I had lived the roller coaster of 'to-the-brink' and then things get good...for a short while. I was just so tired of living the roller coaster life. My Story- Part 3- The ROLLER Coaster. I just could not do it any more. So when he slipped in, this was my thought: yep... he knew it was about to happen and now he came to hold it off a little while. I sat there, glad he was there, but telling myself the entire time...do not buy into this again! I was still determined that today would be the day something changed. As the last sermon of the year and just before New Years, the topic was 'New Beginnings". That is really all I remember of the sermon that morning. My mind was going in a million directions as I sat there trying to look attentive. THAT DAY EVERYTHING CHANGED and NOT.AT.ALL the way I thought it would!! The music began to play as the pastor started to give the invitation to come back to Jesus, let Him have your heavy burdens and have a new beginning. ONLY 3 or 4 notes of the music had started when James stepped out of the pew and made his way to the altar! This was the most shocked I have ever been I my life!! James IS NOT FAKE anything! What you see is what you get. period. So after my initial shock, I turned around to see his sister with the same shocked look & tears rolling down her face too! Prayers were answered right before my eyes! God had plans for my future MUCH bigger and better than MY plans. it was unreal and I still have chills just writing this. He prayed with the pastor for a good while and I can tell you that my husband was a changed man from that moment!! INSTANTLY changed. It was the most unreal thing I have ever witnessed and still may be. My husband knows without a doubt that Jesus saved him before we were married, but life, circumstances, guilt and sin had him far away from God and terribly miserable. During the first stanza of the song, he knelt at the altar of our church and promised his life back to his Lord and Savior and has been a different person from that very moment! You see, on this Sunday, 18 years ago-NOW 23 YEARS!!- my husband heard a voice too..."YOU GO TO CHURCH"!! and like me, it was so strong that he was in the shower and getting ready immediately. Sun, Dec 27th, 1997, my husband came back to his Lord who took that baggage and "Removed it as far as the East is from the West". That Sunday, the husband who came up from his knees that morning was a new man, a new husband and a new daddy. IMMEDIATELY. I remember calling my sister the next day sharing the news. My sister told me she went home after our family Christmas, closed herself in her bedroom and cried out to God for me, James and our little family! God honors prayer! Miracles still happen....just ask me how I know!! :)
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"And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding."-Jeremiah 3:15 ESV If you are like me and let things slip up on you, I have a little FYI....October is Pastor Appreciation Month! Some of you may be saying, "and...", while others of are jotting down a note or pulling up Amazon for a gift right now. Either way, I wanted to share thoughts that came to me as I was praying. I need to start by letting you know that my pastor is not the only pastor I know personally. See, I grew up with uncles as pastors, which meant my cousin playmates were PKs (Preacher Kids). I grew up living life with them, not just church life. Then as an adult, my brother-in-law was called to preach and has been in the ministry for 20+ years. Then, five and a half years ago, my daughter married a youth pastor. As you can guess, I know these in real life too! I'm the mother in law to a pastor!! :) I have been burdened to pray for my pastor and pastors in my area over the past couple of months. I have been in much prayer for them individually, personally in their own lives so they can better lead their churches and families. I wanted to share what I am sure most pastors would want this Pastor Appreciation more than a watch or another plaque to hang. Let's take a look: 3 Things Your Pastor Wants for Pastor Appreciation#1- KNOW ME - If your pastor could step out of the 'pastor' role and be just a friend having lunch with you, He would tell you what he needs most of all is for others to know him and love him as a regular, everyday person. To see him as a human, not super human. To understand that he struggles with sin and junk as much or more than you do. To know that just because God called him to preach and lead a church does not mean he is kept out of the junk of the world. He would want you to know that not only does he have his own issues to battle daily, but as pastor, he also loves you as his family to care for and has the responsibility to help many others battle too. The load can seem way to heavy to carry some nights. He would tell you that there are things he knows that he wishes he didn't. Evil he wishes he was blind too. Spirit wars that physically drain him.
Your pastor either tries to be everything to everyone, but he was only called to pastor/preacher/shepherd. Every church member's expectation of those words mean something different. He cannot and will not ever be everything to everyone. Never. Remember, he is human. Some are gifted at encouraging and visiting. Others are more gifted in pulling deep teaching from a text, but not so good with people skills. The personality of a pastor will mean that some are quiet and recharge by being alone while others want fellowship with you all the time. No two pastors will be the same....and they shouldn't be! God created them and called them, not us. Give grace in the areas you think he should work on and praise him in the areas he does well. Let him know you appreciate what he does. These are things your pastor will probably never say to you. That is why I wanted to share with you and remind you today. It is so easy to judge Pastors as above us and hold them to a much higher standard than the regular Christian. Is that fair of us? Sure, when a man accepts the call to pastor, his character & heart must be considered and must be an overflow of what is in the deepest parts of his soul or he will fail. But, I think Jesus uses the same characterization and attributes for ALL CHRISTIANS, not just pastors?? So today, one of the BEST gifts you can give your pastor is PRAY DAILY for him knowing he is regular man who has a accepted a big job to shepherd you how God leads. He can only do this if he spends time with the Lord. Pray for his time. Give him grace to not drop and run for your ingrown toenail surgery. Pray for his individual relationship with the Father and time to be in The Word for himself and to overflow his feast over to you, his church. #2- GROW- Your pastor would be more honored knowing you are growing in spiritual maturity daily and not depending on him to give you a week's worth in one hour on Sunday morning. He knows it is impossible to grow each of his members individually in 3 hours, at best, per week. Sadly, he also knows this is all the bible some get all week. This is disheartening to your pastor. He wants to invite and inspire you to desire the Word enough to study it during the week. When his members see no need to use a bible outside of church, he takes that as a reflection of himself and his role as your pastor. His job as your shepherd is to inspire, motivate, and teach you how and why the Bible is so important. He wants you to know that the Bible is a book about the Only One who can transform this life & bring eternal life....it is all about our Savior, Jesus Christ. If we don't see the bible as important to everyday life, your pastor feels he is falling down on his job. Even though we both know that is our problem and not his, as pastor he assumed the role of care-taker of our souls and begins to think it is a reflection of his work. #3- GO & SOW- The biggest gift you can give your pastor, is to live out your growing relationship with God and others in real life! When individuals go to work, the ball fields, Walmart and share what Jesus is doing in their everyday lives, God is glorified and your preacher is encouraged and excited. When we live Jesus and the amazing-ness of what He gives us, other lives are changed. Unbelievers become believers! They finally see proof that this Jesus thing is real because they know you personally and see the change. Seeing the members go and evangelize their circle of the world is what will make a preacher want to do back flips from the pulpit. :) Pastors have a deep seeded hungering to see the people come to know Jesus. They teach us, tell us and encourage us to "GO & TELL!". These words are not your pastors, they are Jesus's. So to recap, Know your pastor is not God with skin and give him grace to be human and pray for him continually. Grow by teaching yourself and not allowing your pastor to be responsible for feeding you everything you think you need. Sunday sermons should just be the dessert at the end of the week. When we determine to gift our pastor and ourselves with the above, we will find ourselves living out number three, Go & Sow. When we take responsibility for our own spiritual lives, the result will always be us going out and sharing Jesus because He brings it to overflow. Go and Gift Your Pastor! I want to challenge you this Pastor Appreciation Month to join me as we pray for our pastors and the ones across the nation: Father God, we come bowing before You, the King of All, the Mighty I Am and yet the arms of love that pick us up when we stumble. We want to stand together today to pray for our pastors! The pastors all across our nation need a fresh dose of your power and anointing. They struggle to know how to lead and where to go at times with so much information being thrown at them. Lord, I ask you to show them what is meaningless distraction and what is essential to their spiritual life and the life of their church body. I ask you to send other pastors to them to build them up. Help us members to remember pastoring looks different in every man. Give us grace to love well even when we want to critique. Show us his needs and help us to meet them. Give us passion to live out our own lives as a pastor of our own home and world, in turn helping take a burden off of him. Show us Lord what our part is. We ask you to send unexpected blessings of affirmation, renewal and reignited fire to our pulpits starting this week! In Jesus precious name. Amen “The King (Jesus) will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."- Matthew 25:40 "If But for One"This phrase came during a time that God was stretching me beyond what I thought my limits were. He was asking me to do things that were way outside of my comfort zone and I had no idea how much those 4 words would encourage me in the days to come. Several months earlier, I had told God I was ready to go with Him to do what He needed me to do. I was tired of all the doing and just expecting Him to bless it. It was exhausting that way. Well, I had no idea what that little prayer of surrender would unleash! God wasted no time inviting me to the party! It was like He had been waiting for me to say the words for years.(hee hee). I would be lying if I didn’t tell you I was terrified as He started letting me know He wanted me to join Him in His work around me. After a while, I began to get excited. It seemed as soon as I would work up the nerve to accept His challenge, He would throw another one. Another ‘way-too-big-task’ right after another. Jesus…I can’t!! I struggled during this time. He was asking me to do something I knew nothing about. I had no training or even an idea on where to get training. I struggled knowing I wasn’t the best choice to do this. When my kids would tell me “I can’t Mama!”, I encouraged & talked straight up when needed to help them see that keep working at it perseverance was the key. God was like that with me! He listened to me whine and make excuses. BUT GOD….He wouldn’t hear it! He is a patient God, but He also has a way of reminding us…”ummm, you DO realize that I AM GOD and you aren’t, right??!” ouch. So that is the beginning of this online blogging adventure He has me on. I still shake my head most days and wonder why He chose me to do this. I mean, seriously! I am pretty sure I never made above a C- on any paper, ever. I am not computer tech savvy as I once thought I was, but I'm learning. I cannot tell you the months of frustration that came (and still come at times) with the technical side of things. I keep praying He will send me a tech genius partner one day😊 I set out to obey His leading, “start a blog to share your story”. I was working furiously. Every spare moment after work. Hours before work. Entire weekends at times. And at times it seemed I would never be able to do it. Anytime I would get frustrated or discouraged, the enemy joined in to try to get me to quit. Digging up those lies that for so long had been my truth. You know the ones… ‘who are YOU to have a blog?” “no one will read it!”, “it is going to be a huge failure because you are no Lysa Terkeurst!” “really, YOU??hahaha” Those lies hurt because they felt like truth. My emotions believed those lies, even when God was telling me different. Those lies were normal to me and God is teaching me that they are LIES and that I must CHOOSE to listen to TRUTH. God is still working on teaching me in this area. :) One day in the middle of one of those pity parties, God sent such encouraging words to me... "IF BUT FOR ONE”. That day, he reminded me this blogging adventure is not about me. At. All. It is about YOU, the reader, seeing (hearing) JESUS. That ONE person He wants to reach out to today. And the one tomorrow. And next week. “If but for one” has been such an encouragement when I begin to wonder what the future holds in all of this. My brain can conjure up so many questions, still hoping for a plan or a list to go by. I know that is not going to happen. He knows me….the list would probably become my focus instead of Him. :/ When I begin to look around, looking for signs of 'success', He lifts my eyes back up to His and says… “remember my plan - if but for one! What I told you then is still true today and will be true forever…If everything you have done up to this point saves ONE soul, you have been successful! If your entire ministry was started for a very special individual soul to become my child, it was most successful! Success for the Kingdom will bring riches and blessing beyond measure! Trust me! 😊” This phrase always reminds me Who’s ministry it is. What is your ‘If but for one’ job with Him today? The one where you feel you work so hard and will never be considered a success. Is it mothering babies? Is it teaching to kids who are not yours? Is it caring for aging parents? Is it the wearying task of trying to raise godly teens? Is it working in the place where it seems your faith is not seen or cared for? Is it caring for ailing loved ones? God sees every effort and sacrifice. He sees every little thing you do for another. He sees your love, prayers, kindness, and patience. They may seem to go unnoticed, but He sees and He is using it in ways you cannot imagine. 😊
Messy Past, Bad Choices & God
For the Mother's on Father's Day(AUDIO VERSION BELOW) .Our role as Mother is one of huge influence. The words we say, the actions we take and the tone in which we do both, are a daily example to our children of what a Christian, a woman, a wife is to be. With yesterday being Father’s Day, it had me thinking about how we influence our child’s view of their father. Let’s talk about that a little? I think we all know that our actions teach far beyond our words. This is true in every realm, even in how we handle our relationships. We have such power in the way a child views their Dad. What are we teaching them about their Dad today? 3 Big Areas of Influence: (Before I even start, I must preface with this: I am sharing from hindsight! I did not do a lot of this as well as I should have. I am learning as I go. I tried sometimes. Other times I acted selfishly and didn’t care. The Lord is continually shaping my attitude in these areas, even today. I can assure you, as you seek to grow closer with Jesus, you will be shown how to get better & better at these things Biggest takeaway is Don't Stop Trying!) Respect- The statistics say the #1 thing a man needs to feel loved is respect. How we respect him, as a husband and a father, is an example to our children of how they are to respect him. If you have a hard time respecting your husband, you probably will not be teaching your children to respect him either. A child’s first lesson in respect begins at home with parents. If they are not made to respect at home, we cannot expect them to respect other authority later. At times respect is little, like listening without interrupting (hard one for me! He talks slow & thoughtful while I am quick and impulsive). Other times it is big, like biting your tongue when you disagree with his parenting but it is so important. Try to agree, before kids come preferably, to be a TEAM. Promise to have each other’s back when it comes to sticking to discipline and discuss it privately if you disagree with a decision. Kids can smell when you may take their side & they will use it! 😊 Respect is also honoring his decisions and the person he is. Even if we don’t think the best of it, we can at least not ‘remind’ him or ‘scold’ him in front of others, especially his children who should look up to him. I am not saying flatter and lie to make him seem more, but respect him as we wish to be respected. Authority- Some mothers carry the majority of child rearing for all sorts of reasons. But this does not mean the father should have any less authority in the decisions that go into raising that child. Culturally, men are viewed as Providers. Some take that as their contribution to raising the children, while others enjoy being very hands on with daily activities of the child also. Each man is different and probably influenced by what he saw growing up. It can be very easy for us as mothers to take over and do what needs to be done without question. Although, we need to remember that we are only ½ of the team that is preparing this child to become an adult. Each partner will have specific opinions, ideas, and perspective. I have yet to find a couple to agrees 100% on how a child should be disciplined! It is a day-by-day learning of compromise and working together. If we aim to work together to find the best for the child, it makes a stronger and more cohesive family unit. Affection- Our children learn how to love by watching others. As parents, we show them how to show affection to others. It is easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life and forget to enjoy each other as a couple, but this is so important to our kids. If they sense you love each other, they have a stable foundation at home. I know, from 29 years of marriage, that not every day is a lovey-dovey day! BUT, that doesn’t mean you are free to demand and put down the other…. even when you feel justified. You and he may be able to get over it quick, but think about what your child may be thinking. They may not be able to forget as quickly. They love you both and don’t care to hear anyone hurting either of you. It is tough, but on those days if we can remind ourselves to be what I want my kids to learn to be, we will think more before we speak or act. Our children are so smart. They know when we love and when we don’t. And do you know there is actually a priority list established by God as to which place certain relationships are to be? YEP! Of course, #1 is God, #2 is spouse, and then your children are #3. Many times the affection is moved straight to the children with the spouse getting third place or lower. I know how easy this happens! (yea...that experience thing again.) It will happen unless we are purposeful about it! Make a date today. Let them see you love today. ❤ So even if Father’s Day is over, we can practice this the other 364 days of the year! When he feels respected, loved, and honored, he becomes a better father and husband to you too. What area will you commit to work on today? ALL NEW AUDIO POST for those auditory learners!! Full Blog post read to you by me :) I am laughing at how old I am as I realize that many of you will not get the "Village People" pun! But I am hoping we all know what power is in a Godly mentor and how bad we need a revival in this area today! Read on to see how this all comes together! ha But this post is NOT about those guys. Instead, our friend Laurie Helton has shared an inspired writing with us again. She is so good that way! Below Laurie states, "it takes a village" referring to how we all need help raising our kids for the Lord. She couldn't be more dead on in my opinion. We all NEED godly mentors for our children. And WE need to be that godly mentor for so many young people around us! I am so thankful for all of the godly men & women, young & old who have poured things of the Lord into my children over the years!! If you are not already raising kids or teens, I can assure you that they will not always love your advice, guidance or suggestions!! Your words of love go in one ear and fly out the other without a blink....usually with that "you can make me look at you, but you cannot make me hear you" look! It was in those times I found comfort and peace knowing I had backup. The Lord used others who loved on my kids. They mentored my children and pointed them to God. These mentors gave of their time and love. My children trusted their words because they saw them living out their faith strong each day. In the good & the bad times. These angels were there to listen and counsel when my kids needed an objective view. I AM so GRATEFUL for my Christian VILLAGE PEOPLE pouring in & calling out my children as they matured. I hope I will be remembered as one of those godly mentor 'village' women for other youth coming up today. There is so much trying to entangle them each day. They need to know we care and are willing to help them fight to stay pure and righteous, and headed in the plan God has for them! (Read what Laurie says today & let her know how her writing inspires you by leaving a comment below and sharing this post with others!) I think of our children today...all they face...the traps set by the enemy. When we're trying to trap a mouse we use bait that we know a mouse would want. But it's important to be sure the other food sources are out of their reach. If they're hungry enough it won't matter what's on the trap. They'll come for it. They must be hungry to be caught. Our children...if they're hungry for affection, acceptance, peace, wisdom, if their love tank is low...the enemy has a much easier task luring them in. ...to him who is hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet. Proverbs 27:7 Sometimes I need a reminder. I need to stare it in the face...my child's need for me. For Jesus. Another children's need for me. For Jesus. For me to spend time with Jesus. Because we should be loving other people's children too. And our love apart from God's heart won't be enough. It's not meant that parents should be everything. It takes a village. ( I am adding this in. Just cant leave it alone, can I??! Instructions in Titus 2 tells us we ALL have a part in teaching the ones under us! As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching. 2 Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. 3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.) BACK TO LAURIE now.... I thank God for the people He sends (and they go) to my children. I pray for them. Whose children are you called to sow into? I can guarantee it's not just your own. Has he called you to personally walk with someone or to sow into a person or ministry that carries that cross? Busyness will be tapping its foot at you EVERY SINGLE DAY. Staring at the watch. Best said in conversations between 4 years- old peers "you're not the boss of me!". But you know, we get to choose! What gets my time today?? I know, because I had to make myself put a magazine down three times this morning. I had shut down Facebook...more times than I care to admit. I went to look for a scripture and ended up on Pinterest. I need to sit at my dining table and not listen to that pile of clothes I see on the couch. I'm pretty sure they’re mocking me. Giving God our first moment is life changing. -Laurie Helton My kids are young adults now, but they remember those who walked the talk. Lived upright. Stood firm on the bible even when they didn't want to hear it. They know the ones who prayed for them. And the ones who still do :) YOU and I are called as Christian Women to BE THE VILLAGE for children, teens and young adults. For our kids and every other one we can sow seeds of Jesus into! Our youth face so many traps today. The devil is out to derail and destroy them early. Won't we step up, CHOOSE to make a difference? Bring on a Revival of the VILLAGE PEOPLE! Tell us today what YOU will do today! {If you liked this post, take a look at "The Must Have Friend We All Need!" } Laurie Helton is my amazingly talented friend! She sings like an angel and is a gifted worship leader. Her inspired writings always speak to me. Her heart for God is evident in her life and in her world. She sows seeds into children each day as she serves as a teacher at First Methodist Preschool in Cairo. Show her the love and leave a comment below! Love Ya! Happy Mothers Day to YOU! |