.Our role as Mother is one of huge influence. The words we say, the actions we take and the tone in which we do both, are a daily example to our children of what a Christian, a woman, a wife is to be. With yesterday being Father’s Day, it had me thinking about how we influence our child’s view of their father. Let’s talk about that a little?

I think we all know that our actions teach far beyond our words. This is true in every realm, even in how we handle our relationships.

We have such power in the way a child views their Dad. What are we teaching them about their Dad today?

3 Big Areas of Influence:
(Before I even start, I must preface with this: I am sharing from hindsight! I did not do a lot of this as well as I should have. I am learning as I go. I tried sometimes. Other times I acted selfishly and didn’t care. The Lord is continually shaping my attitude in these areas, even today. I can assure you, as you seek to grow closer with Jesus, you will be shown how to get better & better at these things Biggest takeaway is Don't Stop Trying!)

Respect- The statistics say the #1 thing a man needs to feel loved is respect. How we respect him, as a husband and a father, is an example to our children of how they are to respect him. If you have a hard time respecting your husband, you probably will not be teaching your children to respect him either. A child’s first lesson in respect begins at home with parents. If they are not made to respect at home, we cannot expect them to respect other authority later.

At times respect is little, like listening without interrupting (hard one for me! He talks slow & thoughtful while I am quick and impulsive). Other times it is big, like biting your tongue when you disagree with his parenting but it is so important. Try to agree, before kids come preferably, to be a TEAM. Promise to have each other’s back when it comes to sticking to discipline and discuss it privately if you disagree with a decision. Kids can smell when you may take their side & they will use it! 😊 Respect is also honoring his decisions and the person he is. Even if we don’t think the best of it, we can at least not ‘remind’ him or ‘scold’ him in front of others, especially his children who should look up to him. I am not saying flatter and lie to make him seem more, but respect him as we wish to be respected.
 
Authority- Some mothers carry the majority of child rearing for all sorts of reasons. But this does not mean the father should have any less authority in the decisions that go into raising that child. Culturally, men are viewed as Providers. Some take that as their contribution to raising the children, while others enjoy being very hands on with daily activities of the child also. Each man is different and probably influenced by what he saw growing up. It can be very easy for us as mothers to take over and do what needs to be done without question. Although, we need to remember that we are only ½ of the team that is preparing this child to become an adult. Each partner will have specific opinions, ideas, and perspective. I have yet to find a couple to agrees 100% on how a child should be disciplined! It is a day-by-day learning of compromise and working together. If we aim to work together to find the best for the child, it makes a stronger and more cohesive family unit.

Affection- Our children learn how to love by watching others. As parents, we show them how to show affection to others. It is easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life and forget to enjoy each other as a couple, but this is so important to our kids. If they sense you love each other, they have a stable foundation at home. I know, from 29 years of marriage, that not every day is a lovey-dovey day! BUT, that doesn’t mean you are free to demand and put down the other…. even when you feel justified. You and he may be able to get over it quick, but think about what your child may be thinking. They may not be able to forget as quickly. They love you both and don’t care to hear anyone hurting either of you. It is tough, but on those days if we can remind ourselves to be what I want my kids to learn to be, we will think more before we speak or act. Our children are so smart. They know when we love and when we don’t.

And do you know there is actually a priority list established by God as to which place certain relationships are to be? YEP! Of course, #1 is God, #2 is spouse, and then your children are #3. Many times the affection is moved straight to the children with the spouse getting third place or lower. I know how easy this happens! (yea...that experience thing again.) It will happen unless we are purposeful about it! Make a date today. Let them see you love today. ❤

So even if Father’s Day is over, we can practice this the other 364 days of the year! When he feels respected, loved, and honored, he becomes a better father and husband to you too.

What area will you commit to work on today?

 I am laughing at how old I am as I realize that many of you will not get the "Village People" pun! But I am hoping we all know what power is in a Godly mentor and how bad we need a revival in this area today! Read on to see how this all comes together! ha

But this post is NOT about those guys. Instead, our friend Laurie Helton has shared an inspired writing with us again. She is so good that way!

Below Laurie states, "it takes a village" referring to how we all need help raising our kids for the Lord. She couldn't be more dead on in my opinion. 

We all NEED godly mentors for our children. And WE need to be that godly mentor for so many young people around us!  I am so thankful for all of the godly men & women, young & old who have poured things of the Lord into my children over the years!! 

If you are not already raising kids or teens, I can assure you that they will not always love your advice, guidance or suggestions!! Your words of love go in one ear and fly out the other without a blink....usually with that "you can make me look at you, but you cannot make me hear you" look!
It was in those times I found comfort and peace knowing I had backup. The Lord used others who loved on my kids. They mentored my children and pointed them to God. These mentors gave of their time and love. My children trusted their words because they saw them living out their faith strong each day. In the good & the bad times. These angels were there to listen and counsel when my kids needed an objective view. 

​I AM so GRATEFUL for my Christian VILLAGE PEOPLE pouring in & calling out my children as they matured. I hope I will be remembered as one of those godly mentor 'village' women for other youth coming up today. There is so much trying to entangle them each day. They need to know we care and are willing to help them fight to stay pure and righteous, and headed in the plan God has for them! 

(Read what Laurie says today & let her know how her writing inspires you by leaving a comment below and sharing this post with others!)

Laurie Helton is my amazingly talented friend! She sings like an angel and is a gifted worship leader. Her inspired writings always speak to me. Her heart for God is evident in her life and in her world. She sows seeds into children each day as she serves as a teacher at First Methodist Preschool in Cairo. Show her the love and leave a comment below!

​Love Ya!