.Our role as Mother is one of huge influence. The words we say, the actions we take and the tone in which we do both, are a daily example to our children of what a Christian, a woman, a wife is to be. With yesterday being Father’s Day, it had me thinking about how we influence our child’s view of their father. Let’s talk about that a little?

I think we all know that our actions teach far beyond our words. This is true in every realm, even in how we handle our relationships.

We have such power in the way a child views their Dad. What are we teaching them about their Dad today?

3 Big Areas of Influence:
(Before I even start, I must preface with this: I am sharing from hindsight! I did not do a lot of this as well as I should have. I am learning as I go. I tried sometimes. Other times I acted selfishly and didn’t care. The Lord is continually shaping my attitude in these areas, even today. I can assure you, as you seek to grow closer with Jesus, you will be shown how to get better & better at these things Biggest takeaway is Don't Stop Trying!)

Respect- The statistics say the #1 thing a man needs to feel loved is respect. How we respect him, as a husband and a father, is an example to our children of how they are to respect him. If you have a hard time respecting your husband, you probably will not be teaching your children to respect him either. A child’s first lesson in respect begins at home with parents. If they are not made to respect at home, we cannot expect them to respect other authority later.

At times respect is little, like listening without interrupting (hard one for me! He talks slow & thoughtful while I am quick and impulsive). Other times it is big, like biting your tongue when you disagree with his parenting but it is so important. Try to agree, before kids come preferably, to be a TEAM. Promise to have each other’s back when it comes to sticking to discipline and discuss it privately if you disagree with a decision. Kids can smell when you may take their side & they will use it! 😊 Respect is also honoring his decisions and the person he is. Even if we don’t think the best of it, we can at least not ‘remind’ him or ‘scold’ him in front of others, especially his children who should look up to him. I am not saying flatter and lie to make him seem more, but respect him as we wish to be respected.
 
Authority- Some mothers carry the majority of child rearing for all sorts of reasons. But this does not mean the father should have any less authority in the decisions that go into raising that child. Culturally, men are viewed as Providers. Some take that as their contribution to raising the children, while others enjoy being very hands on with daily activities of the child also. Each man is different and probably influenced by what he saw growing up. It can be very easy for us as mothers to take over and do what needs to be done without question. Although, we need to remember that we are only ½ of the team that is preparing this child to become an adult. Each partner will have specific opinions, ideas, and perspective. I have yet to find a couple to agrees 100% on how a child should be disciplined! It is a day-by-day learning of compromise and working together. If we aim to work together to find the best for the child, it makes a stronger and more cohesive family unit.

Affection- Our children learn how to love by watching others. As parents, we show them how to show affection to others. It is easy to get caught up in the daily grind of life and forget to enjoy each other as a couple, but this is so important to our kids. If they sense you love each other, they have a stable foundation at home. I know, from 29 years of marriage, that not every day is a lovey-dovey day! BUT, that doesn’t mean you are free to demand and put down the other…. even when you feel justified. You and he may be able to get over it quick, but think about what your child may be thinking. They may not be able to forget as quickly. They love you both and don’t care to hear anyone hurting either of you. It is tough, but on those days if we can remind ourselves to be what I want my kids to learn to be, we will think more before we speak or act. Our children are so smart. They know when we love and when we don’t.

And do you know there is actually a priority list established by God as to which place certain relationships are to be? YEP! Of course, #1 is God, #2 is spouse, and then your children are #3. Many times the affection is moved straight to the children with the spouse getting third place or lower. I know how easy this happens! (yea...that experience thing again.) It will happen unless we are purposeful about it! Make a date today. Let them see you love today. ❤

So even if Father’s Day is over, we can practice this the other 364 days of the year! When he feels respected, loved, and honored, he becomes a better father and husband to you too.

What area will you commit to work on today?

 I am laughing at how old I am as I realize that many of you will not get the "Village People" pun! But I am hoping we all know what power is in a Godly mentor and how bad we need a revival in this area today! Read on to see how this all comes together! ha

But this post is NOT about those guys. Instead, our friend Laurie Helton has shared an inspired writing with us again. She is so good that way!

Below Laurie states, "it takes a village" referring to how we all need help raising our kids for the Lord. She couldn't be more dead on in my opinion. 

We all NEED godly mentors for our children. And WE need to be that godly mentor for so many young people around us!  I am so thankful for all of the godly men & women, young & old who have poured things of the Lord into my children over the years!! 

If you are not already raising kids or teens, I can assure you that they will not always love your advice, guidance or suggestions!! Your words of love go in one ear and fly out the other without a blink....usually with that "you can make me look at you, but you cannot make me hear you" look!
It was in those times I found comfort and peace knowing I had backup. The Lord used others who loved on my kids. They mentored my children and pointed them to God. These mentors gave of their time and love. My children trusted their words because they saw them living out their faith strong each day. In the good & the bad times. These angels were there to listen and counsel when my kids needed an objective view. 

​I AM so GRATEFUL for my Christian VILLAGE PEOPLE pouring in & calling out my children as they matured. I hope I will be remembered as one of those godly mentor 'village' women for other youth coming up today. There is so much trying to entangle them each day. They need to know we care and are willing to help them fight to stay pure and righteous, and headed in the plan God has for them! 

(Read what Laurie says today & let her know how her writing inspires you by leaving a comment below and sharing this post with others!)

Laurie Helton is my amazingly talented friend! She sings like an angel and is a gifted worship leader. Her inspired writings always speak to me. Her heart for God is evident in her life and in her world. She sows seeds into children each day as she serves as a teacher at First Methodist Preschool in Cairo. Show her the love and leave a comment below!

​Love Ya!

So yesterday was Mother's Day. I hope you all celebrated the day with your mother, your mother figure or as a mother yourself.  :)

One day out of the year isn't nearly enough, so I wanted to extend it an extra day and add a little insight that may be surprising to you. 

I feel the strong need to tell you today, on this Mother's Day, that .....
YOU ARE A MOTHER!
Even if you have no children of your own, your heart was made with motherhood in it and you use it whether you realize it or not.

See, Mothers come in hidden ways at times. Sometimes she shows attention to the little boy in a Vacation Bible School class that needs to know he is valuable. Other times, it may be a niece or a nephew that looks forward to the one on one attention they only get from you! Other times, it can be young women we choose to mentor or love on.  It may be just listening to that person you work with when they need an ear. There are SO many ways we 'mother' others without them being born to us!

As a child, some of my best Christmas memories come from the relationship I had with my "Aunt" 'Wina (Edwina) and "Uncle" Raymond.  She was 10 yrs older than my Mama and they became close friends when they worked together (before I was born!) and remained close until she passed away. Aunt 'Wina had several of us 'chosen' children adopted as her own. We were the lucky ones!! She spoiled us and we loved it! My parent's always made sure we had everything we needed and some wants too, but Aunt 'Wina made sure she just had the WANTS covered at Christmas!!

​We always looked so forward to celebrating Christmas at her house. We had a big meal and as we begged to open the presents she would let out her huge bubbly laugh and tell us that we still had to have dessert and coffee first. That was the longest dessert time ever!! She loved seeing us get so excited we were about to wet our pants. She loved it as much as we did. It was such a fun time and we still laugh today over those memories. She was a mother to many though she never gave birth to one.

You see, it wasn't so much about the gifts, but the way she made us feel so special and chosen. She loved us and cherished us as her own and even though we were not even blood related. We lived 2.5 hours away and didn't see them all the time but it was special when we did. :)

Today, I want to celebrate all of you as Mothers! Your heart has motherhood built in, so go share it today because there is always one who is longing for it!

Here are a few videos I found so sweet and thought you may enjoy too:

II will start with the one I hope you were gifted yesterday by your loves...

I'll Clean Up for You- video (hilarious!)

Your My MOM song & video

Honest Letter to the Everyday Mom- Video 

​Hope you all have a wonderful week!

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​I HAVE NOTHING FOR GOD TO USE! I have made a mess of my life and God could never use me to spread His word to others!! I mean, really?! Look at my life...every decision up until the day I met Jesus was all about ME, not God and it was ugly. God remembers me when I wanted nothing to do with Him and I am sure He is ashamed because I sure am. :(

​If you're like me, you have had those thoughts. The ones you would love to go back and do over the right way.
​
​BUT GOD wants to speak to both of us today:
"My precious daughter!! I am NOT ashamed of you! Remember I made you! You keep telling me how sorry you are for all of the bad choices and mistakes you made, but I don't remember any of that?!

Let me tell you what I remember...I remember you as that beautiful girl who was hurting that day. But on THAT DAY as you listened to your heart, you finally believed that Jesus did all of that for YOU.  THAT day, I saw your heart re-born. That day, you were all new. All clean. All righteous.

I want you to read and remember this verse I gave you in my Word. 
"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more."- Hebrews 8:12

Those things you keep reminding me of are gone from my memory. They are gone.  I choose not to remember them anymore because that is not you anymore! You are new.

You are my precious child that can now hear me as we begin this relationship! See my girl, you didn't know Me, my plan, my Word, my Son before and you had no idea what I had created you for. This is why I choose not to remember those things.

​But on that day & now  TODAY, we begin again. Time means nothing to me. We start life today. You are now my precious princess and I want only the best life for you.

Sweet girl, put those thoughts of doubt away and take my hand. Today we are taking a new walk. This new walk of faith where we will stop along the way to see the amazing things I have prepared for you. I had them all waiting on you way back then!

I'm so glad you let Jesus love on you that day because now you are with Me!"-  GOD

​LOVE YOU!!
​Sheila
​

This article was one I found a couple years ago and it still holds so much wisdom! Marriage is a BIG deal, ESPECIALLY for the CHRISTIAN WOMAN! Marriage should never, ever be considered without asking God what He wants for us! If we take on marriage only with what we want today, we can easily find ourselves in a miserable relationship later. God always knows best and will help alert us to see if we may be headed for trouble with any of these types of men mentioned.
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Share this article with your single or engaged friends today!
 
10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry
​*  by J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma and the director of the Mordecai Project (themordecaiproject.org). You can follow him on Twitter at @leegrady. He is the author of 10 Lies Men Believe and other books.

My wife and I raised four daughters—without shotguns in the house!—and three of them have already married. We love our sons-in-law, and it’s obvious God handpicked each of them to match our daughters’ temperaments and personality.
I have always believed God is in the matchmaking business. If He can do it for my daughters, He can do it for you.
Today I have several single female friends who would very much like to find the right guy. Some tell me the pickings are slim at their church, so they have ventured into the world of online dating. Others have thrown up their hands in despair, wondering if there are any decent Christian guys left anywhere. They’ve begun to wonder if they should lower their standards in order to find a mate.
My advice stands: Don't settle for less than God's best. Too many Christian women today have ended up with an Ishmael because impatience pushed them into an unhappy marriage. Please take my fatherly advice: You are much better off single than with the wrong guy!

Speaking of “wrong guys,” here are the top 10 men you should avoid when looking for a husband:
1. The unbeliever. Please write 2 Corinthians 6:14 on a Post-it note and tack it on your computer at work. It says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (NASB). This is not an outdated religious rule. It is the Word of God for you today.
Don’t allow a man’s charm, looks or financial success (or his willingness to go to church with you) push you to compromise what you know is right. “Missionary dating” is never a wise strategy. If the guy is not a born-again Christian, scratch him off your list. He’s not right for you. I’ve yet to meet a Christian woman who didn’t regret marrying an unbeliever.
2. The liar. If you discover that the man you are dating has lied to you about his past or that he’s always covering his tracks to hide his secrets from you, run for the nearest exit. Marriage must be built on a foundation of trust. If he can’t be truthful, break up now before he bamboozles you with an even bigger deception.
3. The playboy. I wish I could say that if you meet a nice guy at church, you can assume he’s living in sexual purity. But that’s not the case today. I’ve heard horror stories about single guys who serve on the worship team on Sunday but act like Casanovas during the week. If you marry a guy who was sleeping around before your wedding, you can be sure he will be sleeping around after your wedding.
4. The deadbeat. There are many solid Christian men who experienced marital failure years ago. Since their divorce, they have experienced the Holy Spirit’s restoration, and now they want to remarry. Second marriages can be very happy. But if you find out that the man you are dating hasn’t been caring for his children from a previous marriage, you have just exposed a fatal flaw. Any man who will not pay for his past mistakes or support children from a previous marriage is not going to treat you responsibly.
5. The addict. Churchgoing men who have addictions to alcohol or drugs have learned to hide their problems—but you don’t want to wait until your honeymoon to find out that he’s a boozer. Never marry a man who refuses to get help for his addiction. Insist that he get professional help and walk away. And don’t get into a codependent relationship in which he claims he needs you to stay sober. You can’t fix him.
6. The bum. I have a female friend who realized after she married her boyfriend that he had no plans to find steady work. He had devised a great strategy: He stayed home all day and played video games while his professional wife worked and paid all the bills. The apostle Paul told the Thessalonians, “If anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either” (2 Thess. 3:10). The same rule applies here: If a man is not willing to work, he doesn’t deserve to marry you.
7. The narcissist. I sincerely hope you can find a guy who is handsome. But be careful: If your boyfriend spends six hours a day at the gym and regularly posts closeups of his biceps on Facebook, you have a problem. Do not fall for a self-absorbed guy. He might be cute, but a man who is infatuated with his appearance and his own needs will never be able to love you sacrificially, like Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). The man who is always looking at himself in the mirror will never notice you.
8. The abuser. Men with abusive tendencies can’t control their anger when it boils over. If the guy you are dating has a tendency to fly off the handle, either at you or others, don’t be tempted to rationalize his behavior. He has a problem, and if you marry him you will have to navigate his minefield every day to avoid triggering another outburst. Angry men hurt women—verbally and sometimes physically. Find a man who is gentle.
9. The man-child. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m suspicious of a guy who still lives with his parents at age 35. If his mother is still doing his cooking, cleaning and ironing at that age, you can be sure he’s stuck in an emotional time warp. You are asking for trouble if you think you can be a wife to a guy who hasn’t grown up. Back away and, as a friend, encourage him to find a mentor who can help him mature.
10. The control freak. Some Christian guys today believe marriage is about male superiority. They may quote Scripture and sound super-spiritual, but behind the façade of husbandly authority is deep insecurity and pride that can morph into spiritual abuse. First Peter 3:7 commands husbands to treat their wives as equals. If the man you are dating talks down to you, makes demeaning comments about women or seems to squelch your spiritual gifts, back away now. He is on a power trip. Women who marry religious control freaks often end up in a nightmare of depression.
​
If you are a woman of God, don’t sell your spiritual birthright by marrying a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Your smartest decision in life is to wait for a man who is sold out to Jesus.

​Note: If you are married and in one of these situations, God knows. God can take the mess and turn it into a message! (Been there, done that & NEED a tshirt!) God CAN redeem the hopeless feeling marriages. If you are married, God wants your marriage strong. It is worth it to fight for the covenant vow you made with God and your husband. Fight to get back what you once loved.

To get the other side of this story, read "8 Women Christian Men Should Never Marry."

I had an amazing weekend retreat away with a few friends I call my prayer group. This weekend was filled with prayers, worship, laughs, fun, snack-y food and secret hurts and desires shared.  It was a time of fun, relaxation, little sleep, but most of all a worship time.

​As I am still basking in all that God did to confirm and affirm what He had put in our hearts. He also impressed on me the importance of these particular women in my life.

Now, I am sure you are getting the impression we have such a close bond because of our years of friendship and ability to trust one another, right? Well, that is NOT AT ALL how it has happened! That is the crazy good God part!! I will not go into my book long details (hopefully), but I actually have only known 1 of this group long term and that was just on an acquaintance basis and a shared faith. One other were mutual friends thru business and got to know her love for Jesus. Another, I met spring 2016 at a prayer meeting but instantly felt her genuineness of spirit. The other two, I was formerly introduced to this weekend!! We come from 3 different churches too. See...not what you were thinking is it?!

​BUT, we will forever be bonded in a very special way because of what God did in our midst this weekend as we came together to worship Him. God orchestrated this group to be at this particular place in time for a bigger purpose.
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​The GOD-sent FRIEND is a must have for us  women seeking to live a life for God. This is the friend who is also desiring more and is willing to share what God asks them too. The friend who is willing to encourage you, but just as willing to call you out when needed! A friend who is DEEPLY-ROOTED in Christ and will always be in line with the Word of God as they love on you and support you.

Simply stated, this God-sent friend is one who loves JESUS first, and values His opinion, even above her friendship with you. When JESUS is #1 in her life, the love she has for us will be an overflow from Him!

This friend doesn't always have to be the one you do lunch with each week, but she is the one that we can call on in the middle of the night if need be. She may run in your life circles of kids activities or mutual friendships, or she may be an empty nester you only see when plans are made to meet up. She, or THEY will look different for each of us, but equally important to our walk of faith and our confidence to be able to continue the race and finish well.

​I hope as you read this, a name and face come to mind quickly because you have THAT friend(s). If you do, text her now and let her know how thankful you are for her!

 If you read this wishing you had someone like this in your life, PRAY! Pray to meet this friend soon. God will honor a heart that asks Him for more of Him! You begin to pray and be constantly open and aware to the women in your life now and the ones you will encounter in the days ahead. She will come! She may not look anything like the wise older lady you have pictured. Let the shine from their lives be the first thing you notice. When you see Jesus shining thru her life consistently, move in closer. God will reveal to you if she is one of these friends for you. I promise He will!

​As women, relationships are part of who we are. They help us to love ourselves and to love others. Our choice of friends are important.

​Hoping you find your GOD sent friend(s) soon and if you already have your tribe of God-sent friends, it is time to meet up again...call 'em!

​Father God, I ask you today to bless each gal reading this today.  I am lifting her life and influence as a godly woman up to you today! I ask you to put God-sent friends and mentors in her path today and in each different season she encounters. Please use other women to build her up and bless her. Help her to feel your love thru the women you place in her life to help guide her to a deeper relationship with you! Thank you already for the God-sent relationships that are about to be formed! Amen

POSTS COMING SOON....PROMISE!!

​Hello Ladies! This LOVING section will be all things related to our RELATIONSHIPS with others.
​We are all daughters & friends, some are sisters, wives, mothers, students, employee or employer? It is said that women were created to be relational beings. I know we all have our different temperaments and personalities, but for the most part women NEED other women.
​Being in community with other women helps us to learn objective views and perspectives IF we learn how to have healthy relationships.
​Now I know most of us have ha experience in a dysfunctional relationship at one point. Some are just inevitable, BUT God gives us principles to help us recognize and learn to respond instead of react.
​GOD CARES ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIPS with others! Relationships are how we let Him shine through our daily life.
​Let us dig around in the Word (Bible) to see what we can find!

Hope to see you back soon!!